The Petraeus Report

Fresh on the heels of the shocking MoveOn.Org ad, that did not call the Venerable General an "asskissing little chickenshit" like his boss, CENTCOM chief Admiral William Fallon did, David Petraeus delivered a glowing self-assessment of his job performance since taking over in Iraq.

Citing progress and success and a decline in violence, Petraeus forgot to mention that this was the bloodiest and deadliest for US servicemembers since the beginning of the invasion. Somehow that part got left off of the Valiant and Honorable General's self-edited report card. One should expect such omissions of import when an individual is allowed to self-evaluate ones own performance.

No longer does a huge block of the American people allow such weighty decisions to be made by Very Serious People about matters too far over the heads of the average layman.

We remember hearing about the Weapons of Mass Destruction and the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud. We remember slam dunk intelligence and charts used by another General at the United Nations making the case for invasion with aforementioned slam dunk intelligence.

We remember the time frame of the invasion stated as "six days, six weeks. I doubt six months." We remember being reassured by a Very Serious Person that Iraq's oil could finance its own reconstruction efforts. He went on to head the World Bank, where it is assumed, some math was involved. We remember an overstuffed codpiece landing on an aircraft carrier offshore of San Diego decorated with Mission Accomplished banner. The Leader of The Most Powerful Photo Ops in the World pulled off this miraculous feat over four years ago.

We remember the "last throes" and "a few dead-enders". We remember a mind-numbing slew of "turning the corner" and "critical times" and seemingly endless Freidman Units.

And now, Petraeus and Dear Leader have joined chorus in a petulant effort to chide the majority of Americans, who simply do not understand weighty issues far over the heads of The Unserious who wish to end the occupation. The picture they paint is dark. Islamo fanatics will move in and take the oil to finance their hateful ideology. Iran will help. Widespread slaughter will be immediate and America will be in danger.

But we remember making these very same arguments, those of us on the Unserious Left, as good reasons for not invading Iraq, but we were shouted down as giving aid and comfort to the enemy, Anti-American and defeatocrats. It is really Kafkaesque to have the very arguments against the invasion now being endorsed as why we can't leave by those who so thoroughly trashed them.