Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Had Enough?

The uncurious and incompetent Bush administration. He decides yes and no and leaves the room for his war profiteering cronies to run the show. Meanwhile, Rove teaches the chant for Republicans, "Our firm dealing with terra has saved Merkins from being hit since 9-11."

The Dems response? "Republicans are so proud to only have one Pearl Harbor type attack on us under their so-called protection. Where is Osama? Where is the leader of the attack and his chief lieutenant? When we were attacked under Democratic leadership, we rounded up all of the terrorists and now they are rotting in a maximum-security Colorado jail. The Republican mismanagement of National Security has increased the ranks of international terrorists four-fold, while our own military cannot recruit enough soldiers to carry out their botched policies. This Administration and their Rubber Stamp Republican Congress has failed to protect this country, swelled the ranks of our enemies, evaporated most allied support, ruined our credibility, emptied our treasury and badly misspent our Armed Forces. We would be amused at their boasting and swagger, standing atop such a vast pile of ruination, if the consequences of their incompetence were not so grave. No longer will we sit idly by while this confederacy of dunces claim they are showing strength. They are not showing strength, but stupidity. And the entire world is a much more dangerous place because of it."

Okay, that is not the Democratic response, but it should be. To hell with making a plan for Iraq. An energy plan? Fuhgeddaboudit. Health care plan? Tax policy? Nope and nope. The democrats have a ten-point plan for everything under the sun fer chrissakes. Nobody's gonna hear about it, 'cause the press will just say "the Dems don't have a plan." It is too close to November. Never explain, never defend, always attack.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


And so it came to pass that Janedalf, the progressive pilgrim whose sparks of snark are heralded as the flame of the west came to the fork in the road where the fellowship of the hoblogits of Nutmeg would part. They begged the wizardress to linger, for she was a chieftain of the High Order and wielded great power, for their was much left to do. She laughed a merry laugh, and as she did, a cool breeze wrapped about the company, fresh born from the snowy crests of distant mountains that marched on the margins of view. And in answer, a nearby sycamore tree that housed a multitude of colorful birds; a curious mix of Striesandols and Kadylanes burst into a song of hope and rainbows, and the pasture at nigh blanketed with whortle and midsummer niphredels kissed the bees and butterflies.

"My dear Nutmeggers," she began with a sparkle in her eye, which never dimmed after the battle, "I have other deeds in this long campaign against the Dark Lord and his good buddy Dubya. But you no longer need my help. You have grown, indeed you are now giants. The deeds you have performed, the battles you have fought and the victory you have achieved have entered the councils of the great and shaken the foundations of tyranny. Indeed, even if the chief Kossack of the High Council Himself, Master of us all, summoned all his minions throughout the four corners of the land to the impenetrable fastness of Townhouse Castle, verily you four would sit in honor at the head of the table, two on his right hand, which holds thunder and lightning and two on his left hand, which hold wisdom and mercy. Or is that gold and silver?"

TRex, a vaguely domesticated carnivore whose diet consisted exclusively of racist wingnuts, cared little about meetings spelled without an a, and didn't feel slighted by being overlooked. His keen green eyes furtively scanned the field in search of athelas, or kingsfoil, a known numbing agent for a cramped bowel. It had been a very target rich environment lately, but TRex had vowed not to release his captives save only on the steps of the Dark Lords palace. He wanted to leave a glistening display to the wingnuts future prospects. Not spying any athelas, TRex casually uprooted a small thirty foot tall pine tree for a toothpick. Hair of the dog, he mused.

Somehow, Spazeboy, the intrepid documenter of battles, didn't feel like much of a giant. He looked at his friend CT Bob, who understood his mind at once.

"But Janedalf, we have dealt a grievous blow, to be sure, but Saurilooserman still walks yet, and continues to gnaw the ends of his broken schemes." The two battle scarred warriors, Ed and Keith, glanced nervously at one another sitting in their battle wagon, powered by the Poodles of Doom, still dragging their trophy of the beaten-but-not-destroyed hideous two headed foe.

Janedalf stiffened in her saddle, and the four had not marked how tall and Queenly she was; an unrevealed power shone through that lifted the hearts of the righteous and caused much wailing and gnashing of teeth of evildoers and their stenographers.

"Behold," she thundered. "A great shadow has been removed from the East. But it can return. As you must straight away. Remove all the foundations of Saurilooserman and circumcise the false flesh away from the wolves wearing sheeps clothing. Remember our battle cry; Kos to the fore, skins or not."

And with that, Janedalf departed, and the four warriors headed for Nutmeg, TRex galloping happily behind the warriors, wagging his thunderous tail clearing acreages of timber on both sides of the road. He felt the scours coming on.

Authors note: This is my response to the silly claims of the power wielded by the far-left bloggers. It's the message, stupid, not the medium. Artwork provided by the incomparable Darkblack. Go bloggers!

Monday, August 14, 2006

...And Down The Stretch We Come

cross-posted at firedoglake

The Connecticut Primary reminded me of George and Lorraine and Biff. You remember, from Back To The Future. Mild mannered, always polite and courteous, George McFly was constantly ridiculed and beset by the foul, uncouth and obnoxious Biff. It's just the way it was. Biff nearly broke George's arm, and still, he would not defend himself. But when Biff manhandled Lorraine, The object of George's love down to his very soul, his density as it were, that tore it. With a punch delivered from three counties over, Biff was snoring before he hit the ground.

And so it was in Connecticut. Americans tired of thugs mauling and sullying the reputation of their country fought back against those who enable such atrocities. The collective heads across America snapped to the East to witness--and I'll paraphrase Tweety here, "The smote heard 'round the world." However, grim business is before us, and the high-fives and towel snapping will have to wait. Joenabler refuses to concede, and the peoples choice in Lamont still has no job. No one is interested in living off this latest round of press clippings.

Before this victory, the Reich-Wing gleefully hung the goose egg around the neck of left-wing political blogger victories. Now we are dangerous far-left hippy peaceniks. Yawn. The dog barks but the caravan rolls on. And now we are not alone. Death, destruction, corruption and fluent incompetence are the Bush legacy and his Rubber Stamp Republican Lickspittle sycophants. And George McFly is not happy.

We are down to the final quarter. This is where the coach calls a gut check. Well, how bad do you want it? Donate all you can to your local candidates. Turn your evening stroll into doorhangings/knockings and over-the-fence visits. Write Letters to the Editor. Pitch in to a phone bank. Check with local nursing homes about rides to the polls. Any other ideas?

What About Joe?

Everytime he opens his mouth, we'll be there. And again, this time we will not be alone. Perhaps someone feeding from the same donation troughs will gently urge the feedmaster to invest their money more wisely. After all, Joe is obviously headed to the pasture of punditry, where him and his good buddy, Joe Klein, can generously fertilize the same fields as the crap they spew is so similar. Even Pox News may see the coming progressive tide and offer them a spot to represent the Democratic viewpoint. The Joe/Joe Show. They can copy the graphics of 60 minutes, but instead of a stopwatch going tic, tic, tic, they can put up a nagging mother going tsk, tsk, tsk.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A Very Dark Chapter

Sorry to have been away so long kids, but Papa has been busy supplying an addicted nation. So let's dive right in, shall we?

Can you feel it? I sure as hell can, and it's not a little spidey sense thing either. The turn is occurring in our political make-up. I can feel it and it is palpable. The natives are truly restless. People are coming too and realize they no longer live in a country they recognize as America. Being mislead into a disastrous occupation of a country that was not a threat and did not attack us, costing us the sons and daughters of our country, Billions of dollars, worldwide sympathy and goodwill has taught us this administration is not strong but stupid. The entire worldview of the Bush junta diplomacy is summed up in the final scene of Scarface. Say hello to my little friend.

They brought us Abu Grahib, Gitmo, Abramhoff, Delay, Alito, Enron, Exxon, Cheney deals made with Big Oil behind a door sealed by the Supreme Court, stripped us of civil rights, K-street earmarks, Duke Cunningham, 9/11, voter fraud, fear, racism, war profiteering, gross negligence in the Katrina aftermath, Terri Schiavo, civil war in Iraq, nuclear arms by North Korea quadrupled, Iran on the brink of nuclear abilities, Osama in the wind and worldwide contempt.

Just to hit a few highpoints.

This is the tedious drip, drip, drip that is soaking by osmosis into the American consciousness. Folks are starting to get the hint that running a Republic is not a spectator sport. It is very serious shit when you are the world superpower, and when fanatical idiots like the ones we have now hold the reins of power, we get the government we deserve. Clearly the Bush cabal is all about talking points and marketing, but they have no clue how to govern. This is simply a matter of a group of people stealing our nation blind. Seriously, no one with an IQ over room temperature can give a coherent argument that these guys really give a shit about anything at all except their own fortunes.

I feel people are tired of the Mid-South Wrassling/Carney Pitchman crap they spew. Regular folks don't care how high you jump when you preach, but how you walk when you hit the ground. And Joe Lieberman got thrown under the bus the other day in favor of a real progressive, Ned Lamont. Everyone is all atwitter over them nasty radical hippy McArthyite anti-war bloggers dragging the Democratic party to the far left, where they can't win elections. Pshaw!

Let's deal with that, shall we? First off, welcome to the 21st Century, dickheads. Iraq is a civil war and we are involved in an occupation. See that? Their war, our occupation. Their war caused by stupidity, not by strength. We need somebody besides Scarface, or worse, Kindasleezy Rice, to figure out that mess. And wassup with the pounding the innernets? Sure, journalists maybe don't like it, cause it is not a one way medium like newspapers, teevee and radio, or two way like telephones. It is a multi-way medium. Still, it is nothing more than a message and information system. Ned had the right message and Joe did not. Instead of Ned and Joe paying the innernets to get out their messages, we did it for free and gave them the opportunity to allow us to pay them. Pretty fucking outrageous, huh. I know, it stands the God of Media culture, Marshall McLuhan on his head. It is the message, not the medium.

Joe still wants to play though. Seems all them voters for Ned are al Qaida sympathizers. Yup. Ol Joe Nomentum said something very similar to that. That may shock some people, and if it does, it just means you haven't been paying attention. You see, all us nasty left-wing anti-war hippy bloggers knew along time ago Darth Cheney had turned Joe into his own widdle sock puppet. A three-way race? Fuhgedaboudit. Other Dems are looking for ways to look more progressive. Hell, even Hillary was heard bitchslapping Ronald Dumsfeld the other day. It's a tough thing for a chick to try and look tough while distancing herself from a hawkish position. I'm willing to cut her a hell of a lot of slack on that deal. Joe, not so much.

I wish I could conclude this hopeful post by declaring a complete takeover by both houses by Democrats in November, but I can't. You see, the people want some entirely different shit happening in the halls of power, you know like honesty and restraint and diplomacy and non-stop investigations, indictments and froggermarches, but the remaining Dems in power, especially in the Senate (I'm talkin' about you Chuck) aren't quite ready for all that for some reason. Oh, well every dog has his day.