Halliburton Solves Global Warming
SurvivaBalls save managers from abrupt climate change
An advanced new technology will keep corporate managers safe even when climate change makes life as we know it impossible. [Speech, photos]
"The SurvivaBall is designed to protect the corporate manager no matter what Mother Nature throws his or her way," said Fred Wolf, a Halliburton representative who spoke today at the Catastrophic Loss conference held at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Amelia Island, Florida. "This technology is the only rational response to abrupt climate change," he said to an attentive and appreciative audience.
At today's conference, Wolf and a colleague demonstrated three SurvivaBall mockups, and described how the units will sustainably protect managers from natural or cultural disturbances of any intensity or duration. The devices - looking like huge inflatable orbs - will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a daunting defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts.
"It's essentially a gated community for one," said Wolf.
You just gotta see them pictures. I just wish they had one of them "bubble boys" giving a one finger salute to the rest of us.
(h/t to SandyH)
According to commentor Anonymous, the actual Halliburton URL does not contain the word "contract" in it. He surmises that the spoofers apparently cribbed several bonafide pages of Halliburtons onto this to make it appear legit. Still, careful perusing through the sidebars and such bring additional joys. So I've been punked I guess. And after minutes of exhaustive research I didn't catch that error. Oh well, at least it wasn't about WMD's. I'm doin a heckuva job.