Sunday, July 02, 2006


and his little Chief Justice too!

The Supreme Court of the United States shot down the Presidents attempt of setting up a kangaroo court to try Gitmo detainees. Chief Justice Roberts had already ruled in favor of the Bushco end run around the law before he nabbed the top slot at the top court, so he had to sit on the sidelines and watch his decision get overturned. The majority opinion written by Justice John Paul Stevens:

What the hell are you thinking, you stupid motherfucker? You ain't the boss of the world. You have no earthly idea what the hell you are doing, do you? Well, if you don't know, you better axe somebody. Like maybe congress. And read the directions for chrissakes, their in the constitution.

Okay, so maybe I paraphrased a little bit. The wingnuts have their viagra infested knickers in a twist over this activist court impeding the authoritarian cult train, insisting this 5-3 decision is actually a 5-4 decision as they count John Roberts vote in favor of Bush. This of course overlooks the fact that it was a 5-4 decision that gave us this nitwit for a President to begin with. But they head for the feinting sofa clutching their pearls at the thought terrorists will be given the same due process as military personnel or even trials in our civilian courts. And they tremble at the fact terrorists, who belong to no country, who are not signatories to the Geneva Convention protections, will nonetheless be offered the protections outlined therein.

Okay, so here's the thing. We go into Afghanistan to take out the Taliban and al Qaeda. We don't really know who the bad guys are, unless they are shooting at us, so we offer a reward of $5,000 to the locals for turning in bad guys. Now, this sounds good on paper, but it can have very bad results. Say, for example, a guy has a problem with his neighbor. He can get rid of him, start banging his neighbors old lady and smack his bratty kids around and pick up a cool five grand in the process. The poor sap that got lied on finds himself under the control of the military, under orders from Ronald Dumsfeld that it's okay to torture these assholes, because the Geneva conventions don't apply. And we're not talking about fraternity pranks here that just involve panties on the head; their have been over 130 documented fatalities.

So, it might be the case that quite a few of these "detainees" are nothing more than victims being punked, unless of course the right wing wants us to believe everything we are told by swarthy mid-easterners, which of course includes the detainees themselves. This decision also affects the issue of torture as it brings the detainees under the protection of the Geneva convention. Bush is the President of torture. McCain passed a bill with overwhelming support, over the objections of the VP of torture, Darth Cheney. After Bush signed the veto proof bill into law, he filled out a Presidential signing statement that said--neener neener, Kings X. Of course, all experts agree that torture doesn't work. Victims say whatever you want them to say, regardless of whether it is true or not. In fact, the reason we are in Iraq right now is because a torture victim named curveball supplied the bogus information that Saddam was collaborating with al Qaeda. Okay, bad example, maybe that one did work if you own stock in Halliburton.


fade2bluz said...

Charming piece, OFG. Wicked paraphrasing and delightful imagery. That said, clutching pearls will never feel the same. I can picture them under the black robes, with their viagra-infested knickers and lose my appetite. Not necessarily a bad thing. Happy Independence Day.

Lizzy said...

Happy 4th Kelly!

Dissent is Patriotic!

benjifromtheDNC said...

You have a funny website and blog.

Anonymous said...

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